Baby Wearing

I always thought I was a sling enthusiast but with basic knowledge. We used a stretchy sling and an ergo 360 with both my babes and they were actual life savers. They gave me freedom and kept me close to my littles as they grew and developed.

When providing postnatal support I often get asked about slings but they sometimes feel like an after thought once the buggy has been purchased. I stand by the fact that slings in London are an essential bit of baby kit, navigating the underground with a buggy can be a killer and I am all for something that makes your life easier. However even with this thirst for ease and love of a sling, my knowledge on them were minimal. In all honestly I have referred clients to Mel at Wrap a Hug for a while now, but I felt needed to know more about all the slings on offer. So when Mel invited a few doulas into her home, I jumped at the chance and made my way from Camden to Bethan Green.

The benefits of safe baby wearing are rich - they can enhance bonding, aid in milk production, boost your oxytocin production, keep your hands free, comfort your baby, help post c-section and give you a sense of freedom. The amount of options you have to choose from are mind blowing, and I would highly recommend booking in with a sling expert as past of you birth prep. This time with an expert (who is not there to sell you a sling) will help you find your perfect fit, educate you in good safe baby wearing and make you feel confident when you are slinging with your newborn. 

When picking my slings I jumped on a tube to a big department store and was sold their most popular sling - wishing I had know about Mel and had had the chance to try her massive collection to find the best fit for me! 

So what is a doula?

 I get a lot of enquires from parents feeling drawn to having a doula, but not quite knowing why/what they are or how to explain the need to their partner.

The role of the doula can be quite fluid, for me, no two birth or postnatal supports look the same. But in short I kind of see myself as an extra brain ensuring your needs and wants are met and most importantly - you are being heard.

Those that work with a doula statistically see a reduction in labour time, see a 60% reduction in a request for an epidural, a 28% less chance of having a caesarean birth and report an increase in positive birth experience. 

Your doula gets to know you, what is important to you, nourish’s and educates you and figures out alongside your birth partner your vision of a positive birth. We are guardians of your space and advocate for you when needed.

So who benefits from a doula? In short, everyone benefits from a Doula. I am for all births, all people, all families.

I support you during your 1st birth or your 3rd birth, if you are Mum, Dad, Parent or Partner and provide support and guidance for all birthing possibilities.

When searching for your doula take the time to find the one that speaks to you, if you want to find out if I am the right doula for you lets schedule a chat here! I like to think I am empathetic, great holder of space and not afraid to advocate and hold your values for you.  Based in Camden I support births across London.

Bodhi Sunny Jobling's Birth Story

As a hypnobirthing practitioner there often feels a slight pressure to have the perfect birth(doesn't exist) and practice what you preach. One of those ‘practice what you preach’ moments came when my husband took a long job which would take him away starting on my due date….now we all know how I feel about due dates, and that baby will come when baby was ready. But with this bit of information( that I found out when our family calendar ping’d and alerted me) I felt immense pressure that this baby needed to come before my due date-something I felt was probable seeing as the date I thought matched up with my last period was 10 days before the scan date. 

So this is how my birth story begins for Bodhi Sunny Jobling-at my 39 week antenatal appointment( an appointment I didn’t think I would make seeing as this was when my daughter was born, but you know different baby!) At this appointment I asked for a sweep, I had done my research, was fully aware that it would more then likely not work, however I really wanted to speed things along so my husband would be there for the birth. The midwife said a big fat no, at this point in my pregnancy she didn’t think it would make any difference to the baby coming and it was unnecessary, she did give me some exercises that ‘could’ help things move in the right direction BUT baby comes when baby is ready. All things I knew and would advise my parents to trust.

That night I lunged, I bounced, I squatted and then went to bed. Around 2am I woke with the need to pee(not unusual) but as I was the size of a whale it took a while to shimmy out of bed, at which point I felt a pop in my stomach and a trickle of water soaked the bed-oh no I had wet myself….or had I? My waters hadn’t released with my daughter so I had no idea what it would feel like. Waking my husband and standing up, I realised (with relief) that I hadn’t wet myself and that my waters had released, we called the hospital to keep them posted seeing as my previous birth had been quick, then as I wasn’t having any surges yet I went to bed listening to my hypnobirthing tracks.

As I woke I began to feel the start of my surges, we were having a home birth so my mum came over as did my MIL to keep an eye on my daughter and the midwives turned up around 10am. Nothing much was happening and to be honest I just wanted everyone to leave so I did what most birthing people do and locked myself in the toilet, jumping in and out of the shower as needed. 

A walk around the block at lunchtime and my surges really started to gear up-they were coming faster and were a lot stronger then I had experienced before. I knew I would want some gas and air but was also very aware that birthing at home meant limited quantities and I didn’t want it to run out when I really needed it, so I asked one of the midwives to see how dilated I was, this was around 3pm. I had an amazing team of midwives with me, and after the examination the midwife very calmly and respectably told me I wasn’t dilated at all…….however as a second time mum things would usually speed up quite quickly. Now I am usually one that tries to remain positive but for a split second I felt a little worried, I was finding the surges quite tricky to deal with and I was very aware that once I hit that 24hr countdown from my waters breaking I would be encouraged to head to the hospital, something I didn’t want to do nor battle with the midwives over. Using my B.R.A.I.N.S, I decided to ask for a sweep and after an hour or so bouncing on the ball and my husband massaging my back , I knew I needed to get into the pool. My husband and Mum gently reminded me to breathe and this helped hugely. I had imagined my daughter being in the pool with me, however she is such a chatter box and talking was really distracting I declined her offer to join me in the ‘swimming pool’ and she very calmly went to play in her room with my MIL-I don’t know what it was but it was almost like she had a sixth sense to not fight me and to give me space(something she never does!)

It wasn’t long after Tim put my playlist on and Elton John’s ‘Can You Feel The Love’ came on(and I angrily asked why this was on my play list….something that will forever baffle me) I decided to push(again something I didn’t really need to do with my daughter) I could feel his head move back and forth as if he was butting up against something and with a couple of pushes his head had entered the world. Feeling his head and knowing I would meet my baby so soon was the best pep talk I could have had.

The midwives all encouraged me to just trust my body in what to do and just as I had caught my breath, he decided he wanted to be born, and somehow I was catching and bringing him to my chest. A very beautiful baby boy in my arms and I just wanted my daughter to meet him. She skuttled into the room, and very shyly met her baby brother with a look of wonder on her face. A very magical moment.

Bodhi Sunny Jobling was born at 17.06 and was a picture of health. Being tucked up into my own bed was bliss, feeding my youngest and being snuggled by my eldest, how lucky was I!

After everyone left and my daughter being put to bed by my mum, we ordered a burger and chowed down in bed, taking Bodhi in.

Once again I was in awe of my body, I had wobbles and doubted myself but knew in the end I would birth this baby with strength and power, looking back on his birth with happiness and positivity.

Archer Rae's Birth Story

I always find when I near by daughters birthday I reflect on the birth I had with her, my first experience of birth. I always feel in awe of my body and amazed at what it achieved both growing and birthing a baby. She is 3 this week and this blog definitely should have been written a while ago but better late then never!!!

I would say our birth story started on Friday the 16th of June 2017, I was convinced our baby was going to be making an early arrival that weekend so I was gearing myself up for that. After ambitiously attending a party on the Saturday it dawned on me that she may not come early and that I just needed to let go of that thought and relax! Sunday came and my husband Tim decided to go skateboarding, after a couple of hours soaking up the sun on what felt like the hottest day ever, Tim came limping back declaring he thought his ankle was broken- not what you need when you are a week away from your due date! Being a totally head in the sand about the situation he refused to go to the hospital to get it checked out.

That evening I couldn't sleep and realised I hadn't written any sort of birth plan so in the early hours of Monday the 19th of June I stared jotting a few key words down on my phone ready to elaborate on the next day, and started to feel what I thought was trapped gas. After hours of up and down on the toilet I couldn’t really shake the feeling and just went to sleep on the sofa

At 8am Tim woke up and decided that now was the time to be seen at the hospital so we hobbled the 10min walk to the nearest hospital(not the hospital we were having the baby in)- he had an X-ray but couldn't be seen until 6pm that evening to discuss the X-ray, so we went home - at this point I was getting pressure in my lower back that was making me stop walking so I thought it was best to get to my mums which was closer to our hospital.

At my mums Tim dimmed the lights and the best thing that made the surges easier was standing in a warm shower. I spent a lot of time in the loo, jumping in and out of the shower and bath and found most comfort when standing. 

We decided it was time to head to the hospital about 3pm, once we got there I was told I was 3cm dilated and was given the choice to stay on labour ward(not what I fancied) or head home and to come back at 8pm- we went home which was the best thing to do as I could relax in the bath however by 5 I knew if I didn't get back to the hospital the baby would be born in my mums bath! On the way there I focused on zoning out with Tim and my mum being told by me not to speak! Tim took the lead with the midwives and all I had to do was focus on bringing our baby into the world.

I think the midwife was shocked to see me back so soon but could see the labour had progressed quite quickly.We got into the room by 6 and I had a real urge to use the loo, I could feel my waters bulging and worried I was about give birth on the loo! Whilst we waited for the birthing pool to be filled my mum nipped out to get tea and ice pops. The midwives were struggling to get the birthing pool to the right temperature as it was so hot (the hottest day of the year so far!). At 7pm I felt an overwhelming pushing sensation and I was finally able to jump in the pool. 

Having a water birth was the most fantastic experience ever, and it allowed me to focus deeply on my breathing, something I truly believed relieved me of pain and gave me something to focus on. At 7.34pm Archer Rae was with us in the most peaceful way, no crying and very ready to be in the world. I felt so empowered to catch my beautiful water baby in such a calm way with no pain relief (I was encouraged not to use gas and air as it was slowing me down!) I think embracing everything that was happening to my body and understanding what was going on due to the hypnobirthing techniques I used allowed me not to fear the most natural thing in the world. By the time Archer had arrived our tea was still warm and ice pops were still frozen! 

When people ask me how my birth was I take such pride in telling them it was wonderful, I still get strange looks and I can tell people do not believe me until my mum backs me up and tells them Archer and I were warriors! 

We never made it back to a+e and still don't know if Tim broke his ankle! 

When the Hypnobirthing Teacher becomes pregnant!

What it’s like to be pregnant and a hypnobirthing teacher

So we decided to make the jump from outnumbering our one child, to being one adult to one child. Yep that right, we are pregnant! 

I thought this would be a great way to share with you all how it is for a hypnobirthing teacher to be pregnant. I think a lot of people have expected me to be completing Zen and fear-free however I am only human and I still have worries surrounding pregnancy and birth, which I hope to address in this blog. 

*Before you read on, please note that I will be talking about my personal fears in this pregnancy and how I am working on them, so please feel free to stop reading at any point.*

I am 16-18 weeks pregnant, depending on if you go by my gestational date or the scan dates(don’t get me started on due dates!!!)….so arrival is looking like early to mid March. We have a lot of birthdays to navigate in the first half of March so will be interesting to see if this baby ends up sharing their birthday! 

1st Trimester

My first trimester has been pretty tricky, as it was with my daughter. A lot of sickness, and even more nausea. I struggled to eat which made me a little grumpy(hangry) and oh my the tiredness. I really don’t remember being so tired with my first pregnancy, have I blanked it out or is because I am also running after a fiesty two year old?

Tips to get through the sickness….eat what you can and don’t feel bad about living on marmite on toast. I had bouts of extreme guilt when I realised I had eaten marmite and crumpets for breakfast, lunch and dinner most days HOWEVER if I hadn’t eaten that I wouldn’t have eaten anything! 

I have also struggled with coming to terms that it won’t just be us and our daughter. As much as she can be a pain in the arse sometimes, she really is quite great and I love the dynamics of our family. I would be lying if said I hadn’t cried quite a bit ‘losing’ time with, I think this is one of my biggest anxieties with this pregnancy. How can I love someone as much as I love her, what if my daughter hates me when the new baby comes, what if my daughter and the new baby don’t bond???

All the above seems even harder to navigate as the first trimester almost seems like the secret one, I had lots of people comment on how awful I was looking and it took all my strength not to shout ‘ YES ITS BECAUSE I AM LIVING WITH MY HEAD DOWN THE LOO!!!’

Luckily that is now behind me and I am feeling fab in my 2nd trimester!

Fears 

We were very lucky to have a straightforward pregnancy and birth with our daughter, at a birth centre attached to a hospital in London. We took a hypnobirhting class which changed my life, I felt so empowered after our classes and couldn’t wait to experience giving birth. I will share our birth story here at a later date but in short, she was a super star and came pretty quickly after labouring as much as possible at home. Due to this we have booked in for a home birth this time around, I cannot tell you how excited I am.

Now whilst I am very excited for this birth, as I said before, I still have a few niggles that I need to address in the run up to the big day. 

-i was told that on average, 2nd births are half the time of your first. Worry number 1, will I make it to the hospital on time or will I give birth in the street, will the midwives make it to my house in time or will my husband have to bring this baby earth side!

-juggling the mum guilt of feeling tired and having less patience with my toddler, then feeling even more guilt as these are the last months as a three

-the return of post-natal anxiety, this is something that took me by surprise with my daughter and didn’t address until she was 10 months old. 

-that as we are hoping for a home birth and my daughter will be there, that I will scare her in the throws of birth.

How I will be working on the above

-TALKING…..I have been talking to my midwife, discussing how to get around worrying about her not making it to the birth! Looking at all options, and rationalising how quick, quick really is!

-TALKING…..and accepting that mum guilt feels real however I am doing the best job I can, and have a happy, chatty daughter to vouch for that.

-TALKING to my care givers about accessing mental health help……and trusting that I know the signs of being unhappy and anxious and how this is very different from the ‘baby blues’ I kept kidding myself it was before! And understanding it is not failing asking for help.

-RESEARCHING ways to introduce birth to my daughter so it becomes something that is normal for her. Currently we are reading ‘Hello Baby’ by Jenni Overend. Am happy to report my 2 year old is now telling everyone our ‘baby will come out of Mumma’s vagina’. 

How does hypnobirthing help the hypnobirthing teacher?

Currently I am working on daily positive affirmations which really help me focus and clear my head. They allow me to address everyday concerns so they don’t turn into something bigger and I almost see them a s 5 minute meditation! I understand that however small my worries may be, if I just let them lay there unaddressed they will sit there in my subconscious and eventually aid the production of adrenaline- and we all know thats no good!

We will start our hypnobirthing scripts after our 20 week scan, focussing on the ones that really worked well for me last time around and I will also start to build my affirmation board. 

We are planning for a home birth this time around so am really looking forward to building my birthing nest, making it as cosy and inviting as possible! 

What I am hoping this blog will help parents realise is that the focus should never be on a perfect pregnancy or birth but a positive one, and that there are many ways you can achieve that!